We All Deserve Our Rainbow Baby
This is how Wikipedia defines the term “rainbow baby.”
“A rainbow baby is a term for a child born to a family that has previously lost a child due to stillbirth, miscarriage or death during infancy.”
A simple definition to a most complicated occurrence in a person’s life. But then it goes on to say:
“These subsequent pregnancies can bring “strong feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even fear” but also “immense joy, reflection, healing, and mixed emotions”.
So that’s where I am, that second part of the definition.
It has been two months and four days since my miscarriage and I wonder how it will feel to be pregnant again. I always knew I wanted more children. I have a daughter, who is almost 19 years old, so most people in my life would assume, I have one child and will not have anymore. But this is the 21st century; along with all the technological advances, we live in a semi-post pandemic world that is sick and dying and people of color fear the police in the US, where racism still divides us, a world where children and women and the LGBTQ community are lost and fighting for their lives and freedom in Afghanistan. I live in a city where the subway is no longer safe and where shootings are happening in broad daylight on the upper east side.
